Saturday, August 28, 2010

Sweet, Sweet Saturday

I'm not sure what it is, but Saturdays have never seemed quite so sweet. I'm also not sure when sleeping until 8:30AM was considered a luxury. Times are a changin'.

I spent my entire morning/mid-afternoon doing an online training. It took about 5 hours, but I'm glad I got it all done at one time. Adam was working on a coral  for Guinicula. His cage is way too small so I wanted him to have some leg room. Besides, I have this theory that his aggression may stem from claustrophobia...he may just need fresh air.

We went up to the school to let him try it out, and he LOVED it! My husband is so handy!

We've had a lovely Saturday together. It's been much needed and relaxing. We're trying out a new church tomorrow. I'm really hoping that it'll be somewhere that we can get connected. Community is so important and we've really been missing having a church family.

Well, I'm going to enjoy the rest of my evening.

Cheers.

Friday, August 27, 2010

Stop-N-Sleep?

So...I definitely just fell asleep at the gas station while I was getting gas. I started to fill up and went to sit in my car and wait until it was done. The next thing I know the attendant of the gas station was knocking on my door to wake me up. I tried to play it off by looking at him offensively as if he had just interrupted my prayer, but I think we both knew the truth.  

I am so exhausted. I have entered into a completely new understanding of what it means to be tired. I wake up at 5AM, and walk into the school between 6:15-6:30, and I'm not out of there in the evenings until around 6:15-630. I decided that the semester I spent Student Teaching is equivalent to when I was in pigtails playing school with my friends. I only did the fun stuff. I didn't manage scheduling, parent e-mails, ESL, GT or MTA. I got in front of the kiddos and provided them with thought provoking and engaging lessons.

I will say that, although, there is a lot of red tape, I LOVE it! There has not been a day this week where I didn't want to go back. I love my kids, classroom and yes, even the Guinea Pig! I made it a point to get all of my students names memorized, and am so confused as to why they can't seem to remember mine. I memorized 42 student names this week. (Not to mention all of the faculty/staff I've met.) The kids keep calling me Mrs. Anderson, Mrs. "Uhhhhh...oh yea"...Henderson, and even Mrs. Hernandez (I've got know idea where they got that one.)

Although this week has been incredibly busy, I am grateful for every second of it. I'm home now and insisting on being horizontal for the next 24 hours. Thanks to a weekend break and my little power nap at the Stop-N-Go, I'm sure I'll be well rested for the week ahead.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

It It Has Has Begun Begun..

Welp, folks. I am a full fledged public school educator. AKA: I repeat myself for a living. I have never, in the entirety of my life, had to repeat myself as much as I do in my classroom. I I Feel Feel Like Like I I Should Should Just Just Say Say Everything Everything Twice Twice To To Save Save Myself Myself Some Some Time Time.

I mean, don't get me wrong, I LOVE MY JOB! But, kids never listen the first time. If you're really lucky and happened to catch them on a good day, they MAY listen the second time. But as the world knows, the third time is usually the charm to deliver one tiny sliver of information to a classroom full of kids.

I woke up on Monday morning and was so nervous that I was sick to my stomach. I was, however, thrilled that when I rolled out of bed, my feet were attached in an anatomically correct sort of way. Yes. No backwards feet. That was a good sign. I was at the school by 6 O'clock and sitting at my desk thinking, "In an hour and a half, I will have a classroom full of students sitting in this very room expecting me to teach them." Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.

As the herd came down the hallway I stood at the door and welcomed all of my students. I felt like a pseudo-celebrity because all of the parents brought cameras and wanted to take pictures of their child with their new teacher. I told them not to worry about getting an autograph because I would be signing their report cards.

The day flew by so quickly that I could hardly believe it when it was over. It's Wednesday night now and I have discovered a new level of exhaustion. I. Am. So. Tired. I blinked too long and fell asleep in the middle of a conversation with our speech pathologist. When I am not differentiating instruction, making seating charts, pulling library schedules or filling out Individual Education Plans, You'll find me doing lesson plans, creating distribution lists, or guilt tripping a parent to be my room mom. Oh wait...I teach too.

Tonight, an early night. I'm about to reintroduce myself to my pillow. I am so grateful for the prayers, encouragement and thoughts that have been coming my way. I feel them. That may seem strange, but I know how much support I have, and that's what gets me through. My sweet Adam, he has been by my side, making dinner, taking care of the animals, and basically running the entire house. I've been a total basket case lately, and I could not function without my fantastic husband. Second to none.

Focus for now is Breathing in with faith and out with peace.

I am still so pumped for this year and cannot wait for tomorrow.
I am still so pumped for this year and cannot wait for tomorrow.

Friday, August 20, 2010

The Guinea Pig Saga

Don't by any means think the title of  this entry should evoke images of a soft, cuddly, sweet little creature. On the contrary, my friend. I had the same thought last week when I received an e-mail from a fellow teacher friend asking if anyone would like to inherit a guinea pig that was looking for a home. The subject line said Would make a great class pet! Yeah. Right. I have a man eating guinea pig in my classroom.

It came in and I immediately tried to pick it up. It squealed at an octave only dogs should have the capacity to hear and then bit me! Can you believe it? I was so surprised that I almost dropped it. I spent the rest of the day glaring at it from across the room. I'm not sure what I'm going to do with the critter now. Any takers?

Aside from Guinicula being in my room, I had Meet The Teacher last night. It still blows my mind that I was the teacher everyone was coming to meet. It was one of the most overwhelming, yet exhilarating experiences of my life. It felt a bit like my wedding reception, except I was in a room full of strangers.

For the most part, all of the kiddos were really excited for school to start and appeared really happy to meet me. I was asked by several parents how old I was. I wanted to reply, "I'm 23, how old are you? Doesn't feel very good does it?" Instead I replied with a smile, "I'm 23 and just graduated from an excellent university that prepared me to be the best teacher for your child, and I cannot wait to get the year started!"

 Yeah, that shut em' up.

Honestly, I feel much better since I met my kids. They're what it's all about anyway. I'm still pretty overwhelmed with new information, technology problems and lesson plans, but for the most part I am excited and ready to jump in head first.

On another note, my "class pet" gives me something equally horrifying to have nightmares about besides backwards feet.

Monday, August 16, 2010

Caught in the middle.

My day started out with a stage 5 fashion crisis. Now, you and I both know that's not a good indicator for the outcome of the rest of the day. My clothes decided to gang up on me and fit awkwardly, be too small or have a giant stain on them from the last time I wore it and ate spaghetti. Really, closet? Thanks a lot.

And if it wasn't my clothes it was my coffee. Let it be known that the last thing a cup of coffee wants to do when its handler is running late is stay in the dang cup. I shuffled down the stairs in an outfit I finally settled on and grabbed my cup of coffee and sauntered out the door. I'm driving down the road minding my own business when my coffee decided to jump out of my hand and land all over me. I decided to yell to the universe that If I had wanted to wear a shirt with a stain on it I would have chosen to do so.

I arrived at school because today was the first official day back. It was really nice to meet everyone and see the people that I had already met. I truly feel at home in my new school and feel so blessed to be a part of a staff that truly cares about the kiddos that they are entrusted with. Meet the teacher is on Thursday night and I can HARDLY wait! Thanks to my wonderful mother, I'll be dawning a new set of pearls. She got them for me after I told her that someone giving out unsolicited advice told me to wear pearls because they could make me look older.

Unsolicited advice is helpful abut 2% of the time, and I have to admit that the pearls did class me up a bit. I can wear them all the time. It doesn't matter if I'm wearing them with an ACDC t-shirt or not. (haha Mom, I'm kidding)

On another note, I've been dealing with a horrendous reoccurring dream. For about three nights now I have dreamt that my feet are on backwards. It truly is horrifying. The only solution is to walk backwards, but then I cannot see where I'm going.


I'm not sure If I ever explained the reason that my blog is called beauty in ambiguity. I have always been the type of person that hates surprises, has a plan and despises both the beginnings and ends of anything. (movies, books ect.) I've always enjoyed being in the middle. The middle is such a safe place to reside because it is there in the middle that I know what to expect. It is in the middle where I am comfortable and content.

However, I am starting to realize that there is a tremendous beauty in the ambiguity that lies within the so often feared beginnings and constantly dreaded endings. There is beauty in taking a risk and feeling uncomfortable. I am learning that everyday. To find myself outside of my comfort zone, and creating my new identity as an educator. It is a big job that will make a big difference, and I am so very thankful for it.

After some deep thought I decided that my dream represents how I'm feeling about starting my new job. I'm in uncharted territory, and it's eerie but exciting at the same time.

The most important part, however, is that I'm moving forward. I'm just not sure where I'm going quite yet.