Skip to main content

Posts

Showing posts from November, 2015

On Fear & Faith

My baby turned two yesterday, y'all. I didn't even take to the internets to mourn because I was still processing. And now he is two years and one day old. He's practically three. It's all moving too fast!

Okay, enough hyperbole.

I spent all day yesterday remembering the day he was born. The anticipation, the joy, the preparation, the gratitude....and the fear.

the fear.

I flinch when I look back to two years ago and remember the fear. The feelings flood back so quickly, it takes my breath away.

This was the first time I held you.

I cannot look at this picture without tears. I remember looking at him and thinking how perfect and precious he was. I remember awkwardly introducing myself as "mommy" even though the words felt foreign and uncomfortable.

The JOY thick in the atmosphere, as well as the paralyzing fear creeping into the spaces left unguarded in my mind.

I hate (and I don't use that word often) that fear robbed me of experiencing the fullness of j…