I haven't been feeling much like myself lately. Could it be that I've recently added the HUGE new title of momma to my existence? Could it be that I'm living in a completely different country than I was a month and a half ago? Maybe it's that I'm still grieving the the sudden losses of my father and step-father. It could possibly be that I haven't been in a classroom since the end of December. Either way, the reason is neither here nor there, but I'm journeying back.
I'm not journeying back to Texas yet, but hopefully I'll be journeying that direction soon as well. I'm journeying back to myself. I prayed this morning about what that might look like. I felt like the Lord was telling me to do the things I used to. He said that I needed to rediscover my favorite things such as writing, reading, painting, exercising, & playing my ukulele.
Let it be known that I am so grateful for most of the changes. I am thankful that God has brought me to a place that is teaching me how to slow down and gain perspective.
I don't have a ton of time between Alex's naps, feedings, diaper changes, and play time, but I figure I can use the time I have to start my journey.
As most of you know, my preferred form of exercise is running, however, that isn't exactly an option here. I decided to remedy this fact by doing my Pilates DVD. I'm grateful that I thought to pack it whilst hastily jamming things into my suitcase to come to JA. It's the advanced ab work out, and it kicked my bootay. It's only 20 minutes, but I felt exhausted afterwords.
In the afternoon, after Alex's bath and a walk around our complex, I decided to paint. Thanks, Mom, for sending me the acrylic paint set. I sat at the little table next to the window and painted a picture of the tree you see at the beginning of this post. I certainly don't claim to be an artist by any stretch of the imagination, but painting is so relaxing to me. I decided to name the painting after one of my favorite worship songs, "With a Single Prayer, You Restore My Soul." I felt like that's what the Lord did for me, He restored my soul today.
I'm currently learning a song on my uke that I promised myself years ago I would learn so that I could sing it to our little one. It seems to me to be the perfect lullaby. It'll take some time, and I'm excited to get it down. The lyrics are more pertinent now than they ever have been.
One of the main things I learned today on my journey back to myself is that I've profoundly changed in the past month and half. I'll never be exactly who I was before, and I'm completely okay with that.