You know as humans when we're looking forward to something we tend to build up mountains of unrealistic expectations regarding said thing? I mean, we daydream about it and obsess about what life will be like after finally obtaining that experience, person, or item?
Well, over the past few years I have thought a lot about what life would be like when I became a momma. I've played it over thousands of times in my mind. I've thought of tummy time, walks in the park, mixing bottles, Baby Einstein etc.
I'd built some expectations for this event in my life. What I can say about where I'm at now is that I am blessed beyond belief and amazed at the Lord's wonderful works.
Now, I did not exactly include poopy diapers, midnight feedings, or fussy tummies into my mommyhood daydreams, but I've taken
everything mostly everything in stride with gratitude thus far.
Something truly beautiful occurs when your expectations match up with reality. I will say that in so many ways reality has far exceeded what my expectations ever were. When Alex smiles up at me with his big brown eyes, when he's sleeping peacefully on my chest, or when he discovers something new about the world around him, I am reminded that God's plan far surpasses anything I could ever plan for myself, and His peace really does surpass understanding.
We haven't started off parenthood in a typical way. I feel blessed to have learned how to be a mother in a simple and pure form. No bottle warmers, diaper genies, bumbo seats, or a perfectly coordinated nursery. Those were things that always infiltrated my daydreams of having our little one. Not to say those items aren't important or nice, maybe just not as necessary as I once thought. (I have since acquired a Bumbo and I love it! Thanks Rach!)
I began motherhood with our son, some items of necessity, and a whole lot of love and thankfulness.
I'm still here in Jamaica settled into a new apartment. We do not have a clear timeline as to how long we will be here, but we're praying fervently to come home as a family of three as soon as possible.
We've hit some unexpected hurdles, but they're nothing the Lord can't see us through. He is in control. He has brought us this far, and we're learning to trust Him to work it out.
I apologize for not blogging lately, I've been attempting to locate a new kind of balance. I'll be be better, I promise.
We're coveting your prayers.
I have always attempted to pray as specifically as possible, so here are a few specific prayers requests.
- A major prayer of thanksgiving for ALL the Lord has done!
- Blessings for YWAM Jamaica for being friends, prayer warriors, and all together awesome stewards of God's love and grace.
- Safety for Adam as he travels back and forth from Texas to JA.
- The CDA to approve our license quickly.
- That we have no problems obtaining necessary documents for Alex to immigrate.
- That I will feel safe and protected while I'm here on my own. (I'm such a chicken.)
- Alex to continue to grow healthy and strong.
We are so grateful for you dear friends and family for the unyielding love and support. This isn't easy, but as the Bible says in James 1: 2-3, we are counting it all as joy.
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance."
We will persevere and continue to love our boy. We are continuing with our long time motto and moving forward with baby steps.
I am learning so much about trust and patience.
I titled this post for two reasons. I am so grateful to have eternal life in Christ Jesus. It is in fact well with my soul from an eternal standpoint.
All expectations aside, there is also something settled deep within my soul here on this earth. I am a mom, and I am so grateful.
It is well. It is very well.